Monday, September 30, 2013

Dancing During Transitional Times

Dancing During Transitional Times

All change is hard.  Even the changes we ask for, that we believe to be beneficial, will have their share of challenges.  So when I applied to the PhD Program at Smith College and was accepted, I knew this time wouldn’t be any different. For me, this process has brought about awareness on so many levels. I haven’t even started my first term yet and I have learned volumes about myself and the people in my life.  Throughout the application process, the fear of rejection was my biggest source of anxiety. It never occurred to me that acceptance would quickly replace it.  Getting that acceptance letter was a thrilling moment. Yet too quickly after, reality set in.  For years, I dreamt of being a student at Smith. Now, in two short weeks, I am a Smith student!

Nothing prepares you for the emotions you feel when reaching a personal milestone. The adrenaline produced from the excitement is absolutely electric. Then there are the feelings of loss that creep in when you realize that you have to say goodbye to your current lifestyle in order to make room for this new life you are trying to manifest. Currently, I’m floating within the chaos of packing up my home, a home I absolutely adore, saying goodbye to my beloved neighborhood, and hardest of all, saying goodbye to my friends and family before I leave for Massachusetts in two weeks.

I’ve been fortunate to have such wonderful support in my life. I can feel the pride and excitement that some of my family members and friends share as they encourage me to make the most of this opportunity. I can also feel the tension of silent objectors and the sting of unsolicited opinions from those who wish to talk me out of embarking on this journey.  In my heart, I have to believe that their negativity is coming from a place of love and concern for my financial wellbeing and that it isn’t a reflection of my dream or me at all.

Recognizing that your dream is about unfold is powerful. Recognizing that the world is going on without you despite this transition is humbling.  In my heart, I want to be traveling on a float through the streets of my town in celebration of the news, but my family and friends are going to work, raising families, doing laundry, getting oil changes, etc.  This awareness puts things in rather harsh perspective.  So while life is going on around me, inside me there is dance music playing and colored streamers falling all around me.

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog.  Please feel free to leave a comment or message me with any feedback.  

Best regards,
Lisa Matus, LCSW

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